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Today on my lunch break i sat down to have a chat with Drunk ED. Drunk ED is an older man of about 35-45 and his cognitive functions are noticably hindered by his rampant alcoholism. He tried to tell me he needed something for 5 minutes but couldn't get the words out so i tried helping him out by guessing 'you need a drink' and.. yep.. i was right. Anyhow. Ed intrigues the fuck outta me. He sat telling me how 'perty' i was for about 15 minutes straight, attempting to hold my hand the whole time so i asked how he defined beauty. through the drunken babble i gathered it wasn't so much aesthetically pleasing postioning of the features about the face, but more so an aura of innocense and purity. While he was telling me how perty i was he made an awkward statement. " you are just so perty.. you shouldnt be in that kind of situation".. and then, kids, he started to cry a little. the tears welled up in his eyes and his lip started to quiver a bit. im guessing a most people would avert their eyes and give him a moment to recover a bit, but i couldn't because we hadn't discussed any situation i had been a part of. its almost as if he were talking about a situation he had in his head. so, i maintained eye contact and asked him what situation and he quivered a bit more and shook his head. i asked him if he had any demons he was trying to battle and a giggle broke through his teary eyes and he said 'i have so many demons' and he seemed to want to leave it at that. along in the conversation i asked him if hed ever killed a man. he said yes, in vietnam, he was on the front lines. i said it was nice he still had his legs. then he showed me the ecxema he had all over his shins and thighs. he talked alot about his two small children, and he pointed out all the small kids that passed. so far im guessing he either really misses his kids but cannot see them because he is an unfit father, or hes got 'demons' involving children. either way im sure my innocent look reminded him of a child and thats why he thought i was so damned perty. i think i should be creeped out but i honestly cant wait to talk to Ed again. I think i might write an essay after i find out more about his demons,his past, and his fascination with children. |
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i just shaved my dad's head. those who know my dad may realize why thats blog worthy. i do have a good relationship with him but not an affectionate one by any means. i remember hugging him maybe 3 times in my life and one of which was when i 'came out'. i used to shake his hand goodnight when i was little. hes not emotionally distant, really, i think its just we have more of a father/son relationship. my fondest bonding memories include him showing me how to use a bow and arrow, how to shoot a rifle, and how to throw a knife at a tree. and then when i was ten there was a lice scare at my school so he had to check my head. looking back it was such a basic bonding interaction. like the grooming rituals of apes. i think the head shaving falls in the same category. most of our bonding is said masculine teachings, which i more than enjoy. ( i was dressing in his ties by age 5), the remainder of our bonding is just long conversations about religion and politics and the such. and then theres the ever so rare physical interaction like a hug or a head shaving. its also a big deal because he hasnt shaved his head since he was a wee lad. he looks mr. clean manly. my dad is awesome. |
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May. 5th, 2004 @ 02:59 am
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When my mother was 14 she can recall eating at the table with her family. she remembers making a comment during the usual dinner time banter and being back-handed across the face by her father. the blow was so harsh, her head bounced off the kitchen wall and she was blinded. several minutes passed before her vision slowly came back to her. this was life at her house. all the children felt their father's anger. worse yet, they couldnt calculate what would set him off.
When my father was 17 he was told by his spoiled younger sister that their father has requested he either cut his hippy hair or move out of the house. although my father knew his sister was just being a bitch, and his father's threat wouldn't be reinforced, his father's cold shoulder and diapproval was everpresent. told from childhood he was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything, he gathered a foam pad and a sack of potatoes and left to start his own life.
My mother and father grew up and found eachother. my father worked hard in his new life and became very successful in his career of choice. he is by far the smartest man i have ever met and besides being a gifted artist and very witty,he can learn and excel in anything he puts his mind to. my mother was always home for my sister and i when we were young and spared us the life of the latchkey kid. although her teenage days were very troubled, by the time she had children of her own, she had dealt with her demons and gave my sister an i the childhood she never had. she is the strongest person i have ever met and like any good mother she is always right, whether it be on advice or how much food you should put on your plate at dinnertime. she is so full of love, compassion, and understanding, it amazes me to think of where she came from.
to think that two people from such bad childhoods managed to grow up and be the most amazing parents. i really love them and im so thankful for the life they have given me. |
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so i came home this mornin.. moms asleep.. sisters asleep.. and dad has just finished building my new computer. i named him *Edgar and just witnessed his first boot up. the shell has one side thats a window so i can watch the dustbunnies inside my comp as i poke about the internet and play doom. pops says its got super sweet stuff inside too. somethin about a chip set and something else.. i know nothing about that but he says its better than his comp now.. which hurts his ego cuz his comp is a monster.
i ran into my sisters room and yelled 'hey mandy! quick! lets see what the easter bunny brought us.. but she didnt much have the spirit for it and promptly told me to get out. i then broke the head off of my hollow generic bunny and held it an inch from my mums face and softly called her name til she woke up. she wasn't amused either. rejected but not defeated, i took my hollow bunny skull into the kitchen where i filled it with milk and had a bit of what i like to call 'easter noggin'. hehe get it.. milk out of a bunny's noggin.. but kinda like a weird egg nog. maybe its just funny to me but yummy just the same.
after sipping my noggin i went to adjust my septum ring and realized i left it at sam's house. so i cut the ends off of a q-tip and shoved that through. my dad was amused and suggested i get some clay to fashion the ends to resemble a bone. awesome idea but im lazy. once again all chuckle and no follow through.
my interview with mci is wed. if i get the job im gunna hafta get one of those dorky ip-relay t-shirts. i need that job desperatly. ya see.. i got pulled over night before last. the cop turned out of his way just to tail me for a while. fuckin g-town cops. i know he did it cuz i drive a ratty car. he pulled me over for improper display of my tags. but he gave me the ticket for not having insurance. im being a bit unfair in my bitterness because the cop was extra nice and gave me until june 2 to fix the situation. so..i need money.. bad. sam was quite impressed with my cop skills.
well yeah. thats about it. oh wait...
*my father was the inspiration for the name Edgar. he had a pet crocodile by that name and also a lil kitten name Edgar that would jump into his palm. the kitten Edgar was stolen just like Chewy.Current Mood:  awake Current Music: an Eddie Murphy movie. |
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dude.. i dont think any siblings have as much stupid fun as me and my sister.. ya know the things you and ur siblings do thats just funny to you? like for example.. my sister started to say " and in the words of MachineHead.." but before she could finish the sentence, i laid out a wicked fart in the place of her pause. and ya know.. its not that funny now that im typing it out.. but lemme assure you.. it was hilarious at the time. speaking of hilarious sisterness.. i was on the phone with sam.. and my dog lance was just kinda standing in the hallway staring off into space, when my sister pops out of the bathroom with a quickness and says to him 'ha! i caught ya!' so lance scurries into the kitchen and out the dog door and my sister scurries into her room and shuts her door. i dont know what kinda fucked up hide and seek game they were playin.. but it certainly stopped my conversation with sam for a good few minutes. |
| » coming soon... Hooterville Resort and Cabaret |
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iv been doin fill in work for my buddy Jimmy Lee the past couple nights cleaning the french riviera spas. i worked for him a couple years back and lemme just say... that has got to be the worst job in the world. not many people i know have jobs that are actually laborous (except my father, who works in the sun building shit hours a day) but man.. this shit isnt a job.. its fuckin work. my mom does this shit every night. hard ass on ur knees scrubbing dried sweat and crud off of treadmills and exercise bikes type work. she lost 50 lbs within a year at this job. might not seems like much but keep in mind.. she wasn't trying to lose weight. she wasn't on a diet. she just melted the fat from her body from all the work you have to do to keep a gym clean by yourself. now i have a skinny mommy that can fit into my old jncos.
anyways.. when i got home i had a bit of a coughing fit and made a bit of a 'fack' sound, and my sister looks at me and says..'did you, like, urp?' usually id say 'no.. i was hacking a hocker' but because im so tired i just busted out laughing for about 10 minutes. i mean, despite all the vocabulary trends people go through, my sister has always had the same signature words. one of them being the word 'urp'. for those of you who dont know, an 'urp' is a kinda acidy reflux burp.. or may also be used in substitute for 'vurp', the vomit burp. a few other mandoo vocabulary favorites of mine are yuke (vomit), silynky (diarreah), and schnockered (drunk). my sister is so fucking funny, but the sad part is, not many people realize it. she also has an amazing ability to retain information. sure, sometimes she lacks tact, but methinks thats part of her charm. i guess what im trying to say is..my mom rocks cuz she works hard and lost alotta weight and can fit into my clothes and my sister rocks cuz she says funny words and can make me giggle at will.
Feb. 11th, 2004 @ 04:38 am
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| » a love poem. |
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i look at you, my secret lover.
i see you poised and ready to release all you have been holding in.
your body aches from wanting, as you struggle for your zipper.
half naked you can feel the tension mounting, you just hope relief will come to you soon.
i know you cant hold back any longer, just let it go, love.
i want to see the serenity on your face when you let it all escape.
thats right, just let it go, im here with you.
and then comes the sigh, and i sigh along with you.
you look into my eye, and i lean away,
..from my peephole.
and now your just another girl that slams the bathroom stall door on my heart
and you didnt even wash your hands.
Jan. 26th, 2004 @ 01:30 am
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| » im tired |
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people wonder why i sleep so much.
but if u think about it.. dreaming is like going to the movies for free while wearing ur pajamas.
so i sleep to save money.
theres ur answer.
Nov. 20th, 2003 @ 04:24 pm
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| » forget me nots |
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we will fly to all the moons
and build dust castles across the sky
i will carry u across the ocean
so your face will always be dry
one day we will be together
with wings of gold to take flight
so we can burn up inside the sun
and live forever as the light
Oct. 27th, 2003 @ 12:42 am
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| » i love my mom |
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mom : sharon u need to get up and do something.. u are so undisciplined.. i know ur depressed but..
me : oh no.. im not depressed.. im just really lazy.
mom : oh.
heh heh heh.. times like these i cherish.
Oct. 9th, 2003 @ 04:43 pm
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